WHEN IT’S TIME TO QUIT

Some time back,  I was stuck in a situation I didn't like. I was in a group discussion where the group leader made jokes(or so he thought he did) whereby we were expected to laugh. Well, if you are a comedy fun, you may have realized that there’s intelligent comedy and just plain comedy. To me, not everything is funny. “Your mama is so fat-kinda joke…” is really not funny to me. I wouldn't dare break a muscle over such high school jokes. Knock-Knock jokes, well, let me rewind to my kindergarten days.

Well, in this discussion, I was literally being tortured, not because of the jokes, but mostly because I couldn’t stand and walk out.

You see, this was a  sane enough guy  who had helped me secure a good job..(well, aint that life?) Anyway, things went well till he realized I wasn’t single as I claimed to be.

Seriously, even if I got paid for it, this is a guy I would never have time for coffee with. So suddenly, as soon as he realized my chitty chats became less and less “pornographic”. (Lack of a better word), he made my life a living hell. Did everything to pressure me to the wall. I literally lived in fear. Mornings were a thing i despised. I loved the traffic which mean i would be late for work, thus see him less. The irony of it all this was a man barely 4 feet tall, but the silent torture he brought to my life was more than 6 feet tall. 

Of course my marital or otherwise gay status  wasn’t supposed to be his problem(am not gay). But nay, he had to make me “pay”. So he made my life so uncomfortable, I blamed myself for not being in the situation he wanted.

So here I was, chained in a world of his choice. In my own volition, I laughed at empty jokes, stories that made no sense, stories where he was the hero…and it was my job to make him look "cool" a cage I sentnsed myself into; all because I couldn't get out.

Reminds me of relationships we go through. Sticking to someone even though you both know the relationship died eons ago. Cruising through life in emptiness and lies. Yet you hold on, for kids, for the society, for fear of starting over. You strangle yourself with mental and emotional chains that are so easy to break looked at another perspective.

Quitting has become that one thing associated with failure.

Quitters never win, they say!

And so did the guy full of fear...he never won! 

Though sometimes I think its only fair, plainly wise to just throw the keys of "weak" esteem. The wearer of the shoe knows where it truly hurts.

You have the way, you always have a choice.

But somehow we find ourselves clinging to nothing really. A bad ass supervisor for a boss, an abusive job, a girlfriend that never cares, we lick boots full of dirt. Yet we stick; as if we can't make things better on our own. Deep down we know we can. Nothing is ever written on stone.

We betray the hero inside us. Quitting is never an option. Life is hard enough..Compared to what? 

So sometimes, its good to just quit. To quit and take time to think clearly. Away from the fears and tension.

So a day came, and I quit..I quit from the bad ass supervisor, I quit from pleasing the world, I quit from the bad relationship..I quit and watched what would happen. The fear that I had..Nothing. I wasn't burned alive. I was happy. I was fulfilled. I surrendered,  I had had enough.

“Surrendering is action. Surrendering to what you can't control is the most powerful form of action. Quiet action.” As one Altucher puts it.

Quitting is not failure! But Fear and Regret, well,..