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An African Divorce Chapter

One great thing about life is the second chances it gives to us all.

Granted, a few of us are born with silver spoons...some have to work a little bit harder than others..many of us though, really have to work extra hard to enjoy the benefits of life's pleasures.

But there's only one thing we all have to experience. Either rich, poor or middle-class(dont we just love adding this? *wink), we all have to risk and marry people we deem fit for our liking...beings we believe we can spend our futures with. People we risk living with by entrusting them with our secrets, hearts, bodies or even children. Aliens who may turn out to be beasts in sheep clothing...devouring our innocent children and raping them while we are at work, beasts that cheat on us when we least expect it, beasts that preach water and comfortably brew wine when we finally put that ring on.

And that's the hardest part. Some of us make bad choices, some are a bit lucky and choose carefully. All in all, our strength is measureed by the choices we make thereafter.

You marry a douchebag. Sorry, maybe you didn't know. And your life is made so miserable, the only option you have is quit. Do you quit? Or stick on and be the "prayerful wife" that spends all her time in church asking for a miracle? Do you risk losing it all? The wealth maybe? The title in church, the new status? The fingerpointing...from a wife/husband to a  divorcee? Do you just suck it up and throw the cautions to the wind?

Where I come from, divorce is something that's kept under hushed tones. A woman who divorces her man is portrayed like a foreign being. A weird human with not a heart. Maybe one who is very liberal and modern to the locals. Some form of a weirdo not to be remarried, not to ever regain her poise.
Her kids are considered outcasts and they never amount to anything,..and so the myths continue...

In the African setting, divorce is a taboo. And till "death do you part" is the norm of living for many couples. So it never comes as a suprise of the many cases of death and jilted lovers story we hear on the news. Many a women have been forced to live lives of torture and inner turmoil. Domestic violence and deformed faces are a sure way of their lives. All they have to show are wedding papers and signatures of a blissful wedding. Nothing portrays love or respect in any way.

An African woman endures everything till the end. She suffers for the sake of kids, she suffers for the sake of her marriage, the in-laws and the society. There's never an avenue to echo her aches. Bears it all like a lioness. She's the provider, the sole shoulder that everyone cries on..she carries the pains of her family and through her battered face the sombre blows of her drunk, prostitute husband.

Yet she stays, for the sake of family, for her kids for her husband's price of cattle and pride. She weathers the stormy blows and still quits not.

Divorce is a welcome gift to many African women. Many have seen the light and have quit abusive relationships for better lives. It's not a heaven prerequisite to be married...I should be echoed!!!  Many single parents are happy by choice.

Sometimes divorce is the better route. "For marrying the wrong person and getting a new chance of life", someone is quoted.

So next time you feel like judging, or acting God, well, take a quick good look at yourself and ask yourself if marriage and weddings are a get pass to heaven.

Divorce may just be the happiness that's waiting for you. Don't get stuck in myopic lenses of a person that lost his senses years ago. Let go! You only live once! Next time you feel like sticking in, remember, Divorce isn't a tragedy, marrying the wrong person is!

Go Live!




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