THE MANIAC'S LOVE VIBE

The day started quite early. I was ready for the meetings and the long days at work. No one was gonna put me down. Not even the mean, big bad wolf who always found fault in everything I did. I was gonna rock it. I dressed the part. A black trouser and a fitting top. I even woke up quite early (to my surprise) as I just had a hunch something bad would happen. I just didn’t know what.

I took a KBS, a popular one with many early risers at this particular spot. I sat two seats behind the driver and beside the door, my favorite so that I don't bother anyone when I alighted. So I saw everyone who entered and got out. Am not an eye contact kinda person and I tend to mainly mind my own business. So I sat there and looked over the window not really paying attention to the person that sat next to me. The bus was full in minutes being a rush hour and to everyones delight, (I presumed), we were on the move. 

Three to four blocs down the road, there was an a sudden gasp and a guy stood up. I didn't bother look up, bored that I took a wrong one this time. I guessed it was one of those preachers who preach about the end times and the punishment of sin then ask for "church offerings" (mind you in a bus). Of course there are some people who fall this. I used to too but that's another story. So I minded my own business. Just looking at nothing and nowhere in particular. One would think I was engrossed in deep thoughts on how to change my country's dropping shilling.

Engrossed in my empty thoughts, I had the sound of two metals being sharpened. Now at this juncture, I dont know the English wrod to use here so I will go with, "zikikwaruzana". Scared, I looked up. And behind me, stood a weird looking guy. Not your normal bus preacher. For these are usually short with oversized suits.This newbie was around 5’8, bearded and in a clean suit. He was balding and wore spectacles but I could place his age to be around mid or late forties. He certainly looked like a college professor, missing his books. Weird enough, he held two knives and started pointing around. I was shaken stiff. He started talking of the political nature of the country. Asked why the nation didn’t choose his preferred candidate and the likes. I wanted to laugh out loud. Seriously? We were like 60 people in the bus, we didn’t even represent a good percentage of the voters. Could be none of us even voted. Considering the busy days of a middle class Nairobian with two hustles and regular traffic to beat.  The hell did he even mean? He suddenly changed the subject and pointed one of the long knives to a woman in a short dress. “Why do you dress like this? Look where this generation is heading to”. I was frightened. I thanked the gods for I had not worn such a dress today. I think it was an intuition. I avoided eye contact but unfortunately, the man was looking at me. Seemed like he wanted me to comply with his crazy head. Nigga please, we are in the 21^st century. Who really cares? My dress my choice remember? But I couldn’t say that. Meekly, I nodded my head in agreement.

He smiled at me and I somehow smirked back. A bit glad to have made a friend out of the devil himself.

He came near me my heart pounded and I thought well, if he tries anything, he would get one on the groin. Fortunately, he moved ahead and sat opposite the driver. He pointed the knives at him, sharpening them as if he was going to slice his throat. The bus was deaf silent. Not even Maina Kageni was heard on his popular "women rule men are condemned-daily show". The lady in the short dress was shaking like a leaf.

He pointed the knives to her again. Then he threatened her by saying, “Unajua naeza kudunga kisu mimi?” (you know I can stab you, right?). As if she was to respond to this rhetoric question. A yes? A  no? A maybe? I thought what would be the appropriate answer. All this while everyone was damn calm, even the men. But you live in Nairobi so long you realize these working class men are not like the village men. They arent as tough and hard core. They can watch you get robbed or get strangled but still play with their smart phones and listen to those headphones. Sigh

 The woman (now I noticed was a She) who sat next t me kept saying, Jesus, Jesus save us. I then thought, Woooe, and here I had planned that if am ever faced by death, I would go straight to heaven as repentance would be the first thing on my mind. Clearly it wasn't. I was too scared to pray but happy whatever demon the guy had, had smiled at me. And there I knew I had a point against the rest of the passengers.

The bus made it's first stop and about 20 people got out. I couldn’t get out as my destination was a long way off. I didn’t want to get late, was still am t newbie and one colleague (the fat lady) had made her life’s  mission to terrorize me. I was ready to face the knife.

The maniac stood up again and continued with his political rants of votes being stolen and a corrupt government that has alienated his people. I had already planned what to say if he decided to ask for my opinion. Am not from this god-forsaken county. Am from a place where we don’t really care who leads. That was my ready answer.But he seemed not to want anyone's opinion.

Then he decided to sit and face me. Stood up and threatened some other woman sitted at the back, while all this time, the conductor continued to do his thing...took money, gave change and made sure people alighted. As if the devil wasn't in our midst.  Then as suddenly as lightning, he somehow ran to the river and grabbed the driver’s neck. You could hear gasps of Gosh from everyone. And immediately, the driver stopped the bus, I stood up and the knife guy looked at me. The weirdo nodded on my direction and said, “shukisha mrembo” (let the pretty one alight). I couldn’t believe it.  The driver was in horror. For a split second, I thought people would make me an accomplice if this maniac finally decided to kill someone. 

I had no time for such thoughts, I literally jumped out. Thanked the demons for acknowledging my beauty and saving my life.I didn't know what happened after that. I ran for my life.