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Kenyan Style; Of Forced Family Ties


Someone just died. A relative, you are told. He was a great cousin of yours. His dad was/is your dad's brother/cousin. You wonder. How come you never knew him? Mind not.
Within a few days, everyone has heard the "bad news". You wonder how this is your concern since everyone is expected to mourn. You have never seen this guy, or if you have, you got no clue how he looks like now. Even a few flashes of your childhood together don't seem to crop up.

You try to remember but nothing. Its 25+ years. You get so many phone calls from unknown persons reminding you of your contribution to this dead guy's farewell. You are beyond yourself now. Bored beyond words. Expected to be in a state of grief and still at the same time, expected to procure funeral arrangements (in terms of cash and planning) to this stranger you barely knew.

Welcome to the world. The world of crafty, evil, psychopathic people who only come together when money and death is involved. Now these kinda families appall me. They never meet for any damn reason. No Thanksgiving parties, no Christmas get-togethers, no family re-unions. Just Deaths! Or maybe Weddings, whereby the pity party will be turned into a gossip party and fishing for gift baits!

And after a relative is buried, they are quick to start a family Chama. So before you know it, you are in a family group full of strangers; expected to contribute a monthly fee to some peeps you barely even know. As if this is not enough, constant phone calls will be the order of the day. "Hey, mind if you loaned me some cash". "Can we meet for coffee?". "Can I crash at your place? I school nearby". And just like that you get yourself dozens of cousins that never gave Bull about you in the first place.

It's a funny setting. The monthly contributions never even last anyways. This new breed of cousins you just got, you forgot to look into even farther. Yes, it's like a cartel of con-men and con-women. So you never get your share of cash when the schemed  merry-go-round beeps YOU!

Two years down the line, some other f**** dies. You are back to zero. You meet the breed of vultures. They wanna know who you married. Is she in the same caste as you? Is she educated? Crap! They even wanna know how much she earns or if she's sucking the "wealth" out of you like a tapeworm. Yes, they have the audacity!!!

And the evil scheme continues....I say crap! The only family one should be involved with is the nuclear. If your parents weren't bright enough as to make you stick together, then forget about the whole damn thing. It's not that important. Family ties cannot be built when people are grown ups. After 21, forget that you even had a cousin or brother. If you don't talk, then trust me, that's not family.

Family is more than just a shared umbilical cord. It's a strong bond that attracts you to a brother/sister. That one person you have relations with on an almost daily basis. His affairs are your genuine concerns. Empathetic to the core.

Otherwise, when you find yourself trying to build family ties with grown ass niggers, then man, you are one lost sheep. Just find a career and a hobby. Do yourself some justice and build your own nigger family!! Then create the bonds!

Comments

Computer Doctor said…
Awesome... and well written. I know she will be happy when she reads this in a very near future

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