Of My African Mindset

I hate goodbyes. I hate the emotional lingering effect that comes with the process. The sadness, the feeling. I just hate the hugs that remind me it's all over. Am not gonna see you again, am not gonna see this, am not gonna be this anymore...not the same again.  Yeah I hate every little tid-bit that reminds me of the past. The good memories, the emotional connections, the deep feelings of attachment. The youthfulness brought by random wild choices. Nights out, girls'-night-outs, the smiles, the dates, the handsome, the "handsome-formed by our alcoholic wildness". The broken hearts and the hearts we might have broken behind.  I hate them all. The sad reminiscence of a youthful age.  I can remember them all. With the vividness of a guru. A master piece of a beautiful piece of art.Crafted carefully, with every sense of him. Looking back, the people we met, the classes we attended or may be not. Coz we knew we were wiser than that. Some things ever seemed wiser. And...

When my daughter took her first steps, I couldnt believe it. It was a mixture of emotion, disbelief and shock. All crampled into one. I had planned for this day for many days. I thought, well, when her day finally comes and she takes her first step, I will scream and shout. I would make a little video of her and share with her daddy and be the first one to tell him his daughter is walking. Make a big deal about it. I made the perfect visual video I could imagine. And all those that love her would call and eagerly show the concern they had for her to walk.   So I waited...phone always in hand to film her as she took those first baby steps. She didnt. She suprised me actually. So on this day, I had little footsteps as she walked towards me. Tic Toc Tic Toc. In her little shoes she walked towards me. My back was facing away from her. And it was the most precious thing I ever felt. Save for the baby kicks in my womb. This was also one of the most priceless gifts. Couldnt explain the ...

I have a little angel in my house. A little pretty, flower girl that throws her hands up whenever I come home. A sign of appreciation and admiration I suppose. She's a bright little piece of art. Learning things very fast. Words, actions all in a manner that's a combination of pretty, witty, funny and cute. Yet she doesn't forget an action or word said. May it be an advert on tele, a weird random action I just did unknowingly. It sticks in her little mind.  Sticks and never goes away. So we mind our language whenever we are around her. We watch what we do, the programmes we subject her to, because whatever she sees, she copies and permanently pastes in her little head. Shes an awesome piece. She seems to appreciate life every time she wakes up. Giving off a soft mourn so that I can know she has just woken up. And when I do, she seems to tell me with her eyes. Well, mummy, am glad to be living. The brightness in her face and eyes are priceless. When in most cases I woul...

Someone just died. A relative, you are told. He was a great cousin of yours. His dad was/is your dad's brother/cousin. You wonder. How come you never knew him? Mind not. Within a few days, everyone has heard the "bad news". You wonder how this is your concern since everyone is expected to mourn. You have never seen this guy, or if you have, you got no clue how he looks like now. Even a few flashes of your childhood together don't seem to crop up. You try to remember but nothing. Its 25+ years. You get so many phone calls from unknown persons reminding you of your contribution to this dead guy's farewell. You are beyond yourself now. Bored beyond words. Expected to be in a state of grief and still at the same time, expected to procure funeral arrangements (in terms of cash and planning) to this stranger you barely knew. Welcome to the world. The world of crafty, evil, psychopathic people who only come together when money and death is involved. Now these kinda ...

Good morning! Good evening(it's 5pm somewhere on earth, the drunk man said). Been a wonderful ride so far cruising this thing called life. And in my journey, have learnt a few things or two. (Is that good English?). Anyway, no regrets...well, maybe one. But still, life hasn't been unfair. I believe everything that happens is out of our own making, our own volition, our own judgement that brings about the culture in our lives. There's never a course that is perceived as being "written". I think that's crap, some invented bull that gives us comforts us and tells us it's ok, that consequence we just got, well, that was G(g)od's doing. Every little tid bit, every consequence is as a result of our poor/wise judgement. Case study 1, the jobless woman who gets pregnant without a laid out plan(pun). She brings forth kids in this world with the sole belief that children are a blessing. Maybe in the process of bearing forth kids (and filling the earth) she...

Its been a while since I wrote. A while since I took my pen and write notes and words about anything and everything. My mind and the perspective I got about life. Maybe someday I will write about people's experiences, the ups and downs of cruising this life. Maybe write of that guy who I have seen indulge in alcohol till he's too frail to recognize his own face. Maybe write of that woman who's always too bitter to live, bitter about the consequences of her actions. Maybe that child who's now just a menace to society, who found it too hard to follow instruction.  Maybe I will write my own journey in life. Heck, maybe I should stop wishing and just write already, haa? Anyway, since I have nothing major to type, and am just writing anything and everything that's passing through my head, maybe, just maybe my mind will slowly drift towards a story. Am sitted caring about my own business. Been busy online pursuing a course I believe is worth it. I have clicked and c...

Those little random thoughts, Little random thoughts that stay far too long within, A great idea to initiate that thought, To finally put it down into action,  I read a piece,  Of a wish that a man said,  "A time like this next year, you'll wish you had started today" , And that made me think, got me thinking... Those little random thoughts I always had, It's time to put them down in paper, So I did, Yet they never seemed sensible,  Time passed... And it's years later now, Maybe two, three or ten later, So I decided,  Am gonna rise from this great ass of mine.... And finally make my random thoughts count! Signed Carol Gatonye